The behavior of parents in family law court and in the way they treat the other parent can be critical in how court’s decide child custody disputes.
The behavior of parents in family law courts as well as the way they treat the other parent can be critical in how court’s decide child custody disputes. In a case published August 18, 2025, entitled In re Marriage of R.K. and G.K, the California Court of Appeal provided a primer on what NOT to do if you want to have a chance to obtain the child custody and child visitation orders you desire. On page three of the opinion the Court said:
The What this case boils down to, then, is Father’s disappointment over having gone from sole physical custody of Daughter to no physical custody of her. The trial court made this change after a three-day, unreported evidentiary hearing. It then made detailed factual findings painting a very bleak picture of Father’s attitude and behavior toward both Mother, the trial court, and orderly court procedures and rulings. (See post, at pp. 4-5.)1 His uncooperative and disrespectful conduct explains and justifies the custody order at issue here. Based on his conduct, a reasonable trier of fact could find that a significant change of circumstances indicated that it would be in Daughter’s best interest for Mother to have sole physical custody of her.
So, Wow! Attorneys are aware of the decorum judges exhibit and the diplomatic way judges communicate in their court rooms. Lay persons are less familiar with the affect of judges on the bench as they have little contact with courts. It’s so common for lay persons to believe that a court of law, whether a family law court, civil law court or criminal law court is a court of PUBLIC OPINION.
In other words the court is going to take all the information about the issues it has to decide, then make decisions on those issues based on what is “fair.”
For example, I often see self-represented litigants in family law cases who believe and who argue that as their spouse was unfaithful resulting in the break up of the marriage, the unfaithful spouse should get less custody time because the unfaithful spouse committed a bad act. And the unfaithful spouse should pay more alimony or the faithful spouse should receive the house. Nope. Under the law in California (no fault divorce) the infidelity has no effect on child custody orders, alimony orders, or property orders.
One can analogize the method a judge decides a legal issue to an algebra equation solution. The equation is the relevant statute. Just as inputting a 7 and a 13 into an algebra equation will have one result and inputting a 123.4 and a 234 into the same algebra equation will have a different result, a judge inputs the the unique data of this family law case relevant to the statute (the equation) to arrive at a result.
Different statutes address different areas of law. And the law is specific about what inputs go into the statutory equation. Infidelity is not an input with respect to child custody, child support or alimony.
BUT, an important input into the statutory custody “equation” a judge faces is behavior by one parent or the other which shows the child that parent’s disrespect for the other parent.
The Court’s goal in setting child custody orders is to do what is in the best interest of the child. Bad behavior towards the other spouse can be decisive as it was in the case of Marriage of R.K. and G.K. You can read the opinion for yourself here.
TAKE AWAY FOR PEOPLE EMBROILED IN CHILD CUSTODY DISPUTES: Remember the court doesn’t care about either parent. It wants orders in the child’s best interest.
One parent’s belief that the other parent is a wretch isn’t important to the court when deciding child custody. It is not an “input.” Disrespectful behavior to the other parent is an “input.”
No child wants to see their parents’ fight. If you read the case, you’ll see the father behaved in a manner toward the mother that anyone would find to be bad for the child—you don’t need a law degree. AND as noted in the quote above he was not polite and respectful in court. Nor was he cooperative or polite to court appointed experts. Judges are humans. In my experience judges stay calm, but disrespect beyond a certain point is …unwise.
If you are facing a custody dispute or have questions about one, it may be wise to consult with an experienced family law attorney. Understanding the complexities of the laws is crucial for protecting your rights and ensuring a fair outcome.
Attorney Galen Gentry assists clients in Los Angeles and Southern California with child custody in divorce cases and cases where the parties share children but are not married. Mr. Gentry will explain a person’s rights and obligations in a family law cause whether they hire him or not. Consultations are free.
Mr. Gentryis a top rated attorney with 30 years experience of helping people to protect their families and their interests in the Courts of Sluthern California.
Call at (310) 282-7521 or contact us online by using the Orange form on the right of your screen to schedule a free consultation.